Baguettes

I love this girl.

A few years ago J. Crew came out with a catalog that featured this adorable blonde model running around Paris with an adorable Frenchman and an adorable tote filled to the brim with baguettes, chocolate, and newspaper. I still have that catty, tucked away in my “keep for future reference” file (I know, I’m a dork) – and the other day I flipped through it, wanting to be the girl with the adorable tote.

This is why Vann always says I’m the ideal customer – I get pulled into the “world” they (J. Crew and Anthropologie, among others) put forth.

“They” must be doing a good job, though, because don’t you want to either hug this girl or be her best friend?? I do. Oh, to be one of those fresh, freckle-faced girls with the messy (but non-greasy) hair and casually thrown together look. That “get out of bed” look.

Will someone please tell me WHY I cut all my hair off?? It’s sooo much easier to hide a five day shampoo strike when you can pile it up in a bun and stick various things in it to make it stay. You think I’m joking. I absolutely hate washing my hair.

Today I overheard a woman at the gym telling her friend that the “day [she] turned 40, [she] felt something fall.” Hmmm. All the women I know in their 40’s are sexy and fresh-faced and yoga-toned.

Must be the baguettes.

Fantasy

Life is hard. Change is rough. And nothing is perfect.

I don’t know about you, but I struggle with the idea of fantasy. All this time I’ve been wanting that “perfect” house, with the “perfect” furnishings and the “perfect” finishings, believing all these years that if we only had something larger than 1,500 square feet, life would be so much easier.

An admission: Sometimes I wonder if we’d be having all these issues if we’d bought a different house, a slightly newer house. Em lovingly reminded me that I’m lost in this fantasy of perfection – and life just isn’t perfect and if I put my hope in a house, I will surely always be disappointed.

Now, this is easier said than done. Another admission: I haven’t opened my Bible since we’ve been here, in fact, I’m not even sure where it is. And I wonder why I feel so lost.

I thought I might list the things about this house that I am grateful for:

1. We have a back staircase that leads directly up to a large playroom/media room. It’s probably the one room in the house that will remain largely undecorated/painted/etc…at least for now, when our kids are very small and all they really need is space to play. The great thing about it is that this morning, after we all had breakfast, the three of us padded upstairs in our houseshoes and pj’s (well, two of us padded) and the girls got to play and i got to sit and drink my coffee and blog-surf…never having to take my eyes off them. I know that a lot of hours will be spent in this room.

2. Our front formal living room has these amazing two story windows – the perfect spot for a Christmas tree.

3. We had our bedroom painted this beautiful Benjamin Moore shade of blue/gray, “Glass Slipper”. Yesterday, our furniture was delivered and I can’t tell you how killer the dark espresso wood looks next to that color. Once we get all the boxes unpacked, we’ll finally have that soothing master suite we’ve always wanted.

4. Our cats came home this weekend, and it finally feels like our home now that we are all under the same roof. I love seeing their paws hanging off the upstairs catwalk, snoozing away the days under their new roof.

5. Last night, after the girls went to bed and our internet and cable were finally fixed, Vann and I opened a bottle of wine, made dinner, and settled onto our leather couch for an evening of reality tv. We’ve never been able to lay on a couch together, so it’s really a luxury for us. It was a moment of bliss after so many tears of frustration (on my end, by the way, not Vann’s).

These things may all seem like selfish reasons to love our house, but they are a good reminder to me to live in the present and appreciate the here and now. Our house needs work, and that’s ok…because it doesn’t have to be perfect for our family to make memories in it. I have faith that no matter what inconveniences come our way (although I will probably still complain about it) God has the greater picture in mind and we will get through it. Maybe it’s also a reminder to laugh in the face of stress? So when the internet is down and our headboard arrives with a nasty scratch on it, and I’m called off the treadmill after 15 minutes because my previously perfectly behaved 8 month old decides today’s the day to start experiencing stranger danger…well, maybe instead of getting p.o.’d about it, I can just let it roll off my shoulders.

I’ll let you know how that goes. I can say that it feels really good to be back…blogging, that is. I hope that as time goes on, the loneliness will subside as we meet new people and join a new community. And dare I say it…not to be living in the future or anything, but you know it is August next week…which means fall is right around the corner. Just a little something to look forward to, when the days seem long and the boxes laugh at me from their neverending stacks.

One Day at a Time

Sometimes it’s just one thing after another, isn’t it? We’ve been fighting with AT & T to get our internet/cable set up for a week now. We had a brief window of service on Friday and then the picture on the TV froze during the evening news and we’ve been out of business since.

Marla graciously lets me have “office hours” at her house, and thank goodness because all of our banking is done online and I’m starting to feel very disconnected from the outside world. I haven’t watched the news (or anything else, for that matter) in two weeks. And don’t even get me started on how much I’m missing the Disney channel right now.

I’m sorry that the joy we feel about our new house has been stifled by life’s little annoyances. Last week I had a breakdown and cried to Vann about missing our community in the city. I now know why moving is one of the greatest stresses in life – and it doesn’t seem to be letting up – although we’ve only been in our house for two weeks.

I am longing for a return to a “new” normal. We joined a gym and I’m going to start going this week, in the hopes that exercise will relieve the great stress I feel. Hopefully we will be online for good this week, until then, please pray for us as we navigate through the beginnings of home ownership. We plan on starting our church search next Sunday, so we’d love prayers on that front as well.

Junk Chic

So one style of decorating that I’ve been inundated with (and am falling in love with) is “junkmarket” style, or cottage chic, which is very big down here. I’ve always known what shabby chic was, but this has a little bit of farmhouse rustic mixed in and is so fun – combining all kinds of different textiles and mediums, and yes, refurbishing your “junk” and turning it into something entirely new.

One store we stumbled on in Canton is called Laurie Anna’s Vintage Home. Whether or not cottage style is your thing, this woman has major talent. Her store is like Pottery Barn on crack. Take the best parts of PB and multiply it by a million and you’ll have Laurie Anna’s. Gorgeous, right?? In all of my home furnishing travels these past two weeks I’m starting to get an idea of what our home will look like. It has been so much fun putting all the pieces together in my mind. I scored a fantastic rustic china cabinet at a furniture consignment store here in Tyler, a vintage wicker vanity with a mirror and tiny stool for Charlie at an antique mall in Dallas, and a red-topped breakfast table with a chrome border and wooden legs at the most darling little store called The Silver Star in Carrollton. Oh, and did I mention the blue painted screen door I found?

Here are few really fun blogs I’ve stumbled upon the past few days:

And of course, Sarah Richardson Design, where I pulled inspiration from for this previous entry…

All Roads Lead to Canton

Last Thursday Dad took me over to Canton, Texas’ 1st Monday Trade Days. It was UNbelievable. It’s basically the biggest flea market/garage sale you’ve ever seen. Acres of furniture (antique or handmade), decor, clothing, collectibles, food, you name it. We were there for five hours but Dad said we didn’t cover but 30% of it!

So, to break it down: I saw the most beautiful, handcrafted, reclaimed and salvaged furniture…old church pews and arched bookcases, chunky coffee tables and cowhide leather couches. For $10,000 I could have purchased an altar from an actual catholic church…for real. This darling old couple we met have a permanent antique shop set up there; they get the stuff off a boat and the husband lovingly refurbishes everything so it looks like new. I would die to have some of their amazing pieces! It was pretty overwhelming…and not having Vann with me I couldn’t make any major purchases, BUT we did happen on this little woman who handpaints children’s furniture…and her creations could not be any sweeter. Seriously. We practically bought her out. A table and four chairs, a nightstand for Charlie’s room, and the sweetest little kindergarten school desk you’ve ever seen.

Vann

Oh! I am a terrible, terrible wife. Vann’s birthday was Thursday, the 1st, and I can’t believe I neglected to mention it until now. Poor Vann, separated from his family unit for a month and alone in Chitown for Father’s Day and his birthday, a one-two punch. I can’t say that I would have handled it as gracefully as he has.

So, here’s the thing about my hubby. He strongly dislikes large crowds of people, can’t stand small talk, and pretty much detests anything that calls attention to himself. This happens to work out well for us because as you all know, pour moi, the more attention, the better. We rarely have power struggles if I want a night out with the girls – in fact, he encourages it – it gives him some peace and quiet.

When I married Vann he was a little more, shall we say…uptight about things. Funny how years of cleaning up baby poo and an education into the physical wonderment of the female body (said sarcastically) can change a man.

Today, Vann is a Northwestern-educated, immensely talented, and incredibly smart father of two little girls who adore him. I know this because one little girl in particular can’t stop talking about him and selfishly, I’m about ready to hand her off for a little bit. I probably don’t say it enough, but God has blessed me with an amazing man and I can’t imagine my life without him.

This next Thursday, July 8th, Vann will be leaving Chicago for good. We will finally have the opportunity (and a whole day to ourselves!) to furniture shop and process through this transition…together. And, he might be taking me to a certain vampire movie (of course he’s seen the other two, why do you ask?). I can’t wait. A huge thank you to his wonderful colleagues – and you know who you are – for housing him, feeding him, and generally entertaining him and caring for him as he’s been away from us.

So, Happy Belated my dear, and here’s to popping that champagne as we walk through the door of our first real and bonified home. I love you!