I just happened to look at Kelly’s blog to see if our pics were up and…gasp!

Remember this post? I can’t get my sweet online mama friend out of my mind.

Do you ever have moments when you really fear life and death? I admit, I don’t think about that kind of stuff too often – you know, where you have a flash of what life might be like without your husband, children, family, etc.? Don’t know why, but last night lying in bed with Vann asleep next to me, I had that thought. I thought of my friend L, and wondered how she is doing, how she is able to care for her three other children, love her husband.

I’ve read babylost mamas feel like one day they are one person and the next day they are another. Life takes on a different hue, a different light. I think about this sometimes when I feel frustrated with the girls and need some peace. What would the world look like if either of them was to leave it, having known them and loved them and birthed them?

I’ve been following this blog called Salty/Sweet. Oh man. What a story.

L got a tattoo of Cullen’s first initial on the inside of her wrist. Now that’s something tangible, something you see everyday, a reminder of what you have lost and what still remains. I could see myself doing the same thing.

Which makes me think that without Jesus, how in the world do you have any peace about the afterlife and where we go when we leave this place?

I know that L is going to share Cullen’s birth story with all of us soon. I am anxious to hear what happened that day. I messaged her and told her that I wished we were “real life friends” so I could know her and love her and let her just be…here. Here’s what she wrote back:

Amanda –

It is words like yours that somehow bring me peace. Knowing that other people whom I have never even ‘met’ in the real world care about his story is so very comforting. There are so many friends that come in and out of our lives- some that we can see, others that we talk to. Both are treasures. Somehow everything that has come out of this blog has been comfort and support. There is no greater gift for me right now so thank you my friend.

Love and grace- L

We had our Christmas photo shoot today. I love having natural light, photojournalistic pics taken. Love it. My obsession started with our wedding photos – and has continued with countless pics of Charlie. Poor Baby E hasn’t had one professional pic taken of her this year, and I had so hoped we’d get some good ones today.

Unfortunately E is still a little sick. She’s also teething or something because she is drooling like she’s got a faucet in her gums. She has been soaking through a bib an hour, seriously. Her little rash is still there and she’s doing this funny thing with her tongue – licking her face constantly. We could not get her to keep her tongue in her mouth! Sweet Kelly (our photog) reassured me – if we didn’t get a great solo pic of Ella, we can re-shoot her some morning during the week.

Charlie is a little more predictable these days when it comes to pics (most likely due to a little thing called bribery) but with a baby, you just NEVER KNOW.

I think professional pics are a great investment – they’re classic. I know my girls will appreciate looking back at them over the years.

Will hopefully have some sneak peeks to share soon!

Quite a lot to blog about lately.

Here are a few life lessons as of late:

1. I shall never work in a clothing store. I volunteered at the baby consignment sale I consigned in last weekend and I’m not sure I’d like to repeat it. I did it because it allowed me to get 80% of my sales – but man, one 4 hour day and one 8 hour day later – and many, many pieces of clothing picked up off the floor and rehung – well, let’s just say that people are not very considerate. And people STEAL things. Doesn’t that just stink?? I had a very cute Babygap beret stolen from me – a person actually removed the tape off the bag and swiped it.

I’m glad I did the sale…but the clientele was not quite what I expected. Not much of my “good” stuff sold, which was a huge bummer…BUT out of 4 packed bins of clothing I came home with only one, and made almost $400. I got it all out of the house, and made some cash. I was hoping to clear a grand, but the customers just weren’t buying the boutique stuff. And I guarantee you, my stuff was the best looking in the whole place! So, it’s back to eBay to recoup some Christmas spending cash.

2. I thought we were almost out of the woods regarding sickness but then poor Baby E got the worst of it. Cough, runny nose, sneezing, etc. AND the worst rash on her face which had Vann very concerned until sweet Lauren told me not to worry – a very normal reaction to whatever virus she’s contracted. Fortunately she’s been sleeping well at night. I am praying that she is better by Friday – not only is the girl’s cousin Owen coming for a visit but we have our Christmas card photo shoot on Saturday afternoon. Poor little girl.

3. The Bischoff house has fleas. Gross, I know. Please don’t run screaming. What we thought was a normal grooming session for Siena last week turned out to include a fleabath and some Frontline. Don’t ask me HOW she got fleas – the cat has never been out of the house. Ever. The only thing we can think of is that she must have gotten them during her stay in the “country” this summer. I didn’t even think of it when she was shedding heavily and chewing on herself a lot…just never occurred to me that she would have fleas.

Siena is now all clear…and I’m afraid I was living in denial thinking they would just leave on their own.

I thought this up until the point I found BITEMARKS on Charlie.

I know.

So, $75 later – pest control is coming tomorrow and we will hopefully be rid of these anklebiters. It’s probably not a bad idea to spray considering this is Texas and I’ve been told that bugs are just “part of it” – and we all know how I feel about invertebrates so – please, anything I can do to rid our world of bugs – so be it. But what a pain in the you know what!