…so tomorrow is the day of my “Stupid” test, a.k.a. the Dreaded Glucose Tolerance Test. I have suffered through three days of no coffee. I have eaten more than my fair share of extra carbs and drank more than my fair share of orange juice. In approximately 8 minutes, I can’t eat or drink anything until 12:30 pm tomorrow.

Faithful blog followers, please say a little prayer for my pancreas. Please also say a prayer for my mental state of mind as I embark on a three hour journey of waiting room magazines. I have been told that I cannot leave the waiting room (of course, I called, I mean, my OB’s office IS right down the street from Sephora) for fear of fainting. Apparently, they must keep an eye on you. Rats.

Some people have asked me what gestational diabetes is. Here’s a quick rundown from Babycenter.com, just in case you were wondering:

This is a type of diabetes that some women develop during pregnancy. Between 2 and 7 percent of expectant mothers develop this condition, making it one of the most common health problems of pregnancy.When you eat, your digestive system breaks most of your food down into a type of sugar called glucose. The glucose enters your bloodstream and then — with the help of insulin, a hormone made by your pancreas — provides fuel for the cells of your body. Like the type 1 and type 2 diabetes you can get when you’re not pregnant, gestational diabetes causes the glucose to stay in your blood instead of moving into your cells and getting converted to energy.

Why does this sometimes happen when you’re pregnant?

During pregnancy, your hormones make it tougher for your body to use insulin, so your pancreas needs to produce more of it. For most moms-to be, this isn’t a problem: As your need for insulin increases, your pancreas dutifully secretes more of it. But when a woman’s pancreas can’t keep up with the insulin demand and her blood glucose levels get too high, the result is gestational diabetes.Most women with gestational diabetes don’t remain diabetic once the baby is born. Once you’ve had it, though, you’re at higher risk for getting it again during a future pregnancy and for becoming diabetic later in life.

So, there ya go. I am SO happy I remembered I just joined Laura Ingraham’s website and have two 90 minute podcasts to catch up on. That should help pass the time. And you know where I’m going as soon as I’m done.

Dunkin’ Donuts. Oh yeah. Sweet relief.

So I was feeling a bit down yesterday. Believe me, I KNOW that possibly having gestational diabetes is not the end of the world…I’ve been there, done that. But something about the nurse’s call yesterday still took the wind out of my sails. I wonder if it’s just that so many things in life are out of our control.

It could also be that I’m really missing Charlie. I know she’s had an amazing time in Tennessee, and I’m sure it will be difficult for Nana (and everyone else) to hand her back over to us. We could never have gotten everything done if it weren’t for the Bischoff’s generosity of spirit and willingness to keep her for this long. We are almost completely de-cluttered and have made multiple runs to Goodwill. Not too mention that having the opportunity to take care of all those little “errands” that pile up is a real blessing. Anyone with a baby knows that “just running” into the post office is not the same as it used to be!

I have cherished this time of solitude. However, with yesterday’s not-so-great news, I felt this intense loneliness that I haven’t experienced in a long time. There was definitely a hole where my baby girl should be. The house is too clean (a first!) and it’s too quiet. The cats are too comfortable. I need her to come home. She is my companion, my playmate, my life.

So I called up Auntie Em and she, like any wonderful best friend should, came over armed with junk food to celebrate my potential “break” from all things considered “empty calories”. What does one say about a friend like that?? How can I adequately express my love for her and all the fun and positive energy that she represents?? Who else would know that what I wanted most in that moment were Sour Patch Kids and chocolate??

Her spirit is not the only thing that draws me to her…she has an intense faith and a hope for all the good things that God has in store for us. I admit that I have become lazy in my relationship with Jesus over the past few months. I’ve skipped more church services than I care to admit. I kept saying, “Oh, I’ll go next week…” but the truth is that I am literally starving for some spiritual “milk” and really need to get back into the swing of things. No excuses. How can I model good things for Charlie if I’m not taking care of my own spiritual needs??

So my baby girl returns home to me tomorrow night. I hope she remembers me. I miss her sweet face. I miss her intense curiosity of life and her hugs and even her willful spirit.

We now have a space carved out for Baby #2. It’s filled with bins of baby clothes for the time being, but it’s ready to be shaped into a nook when I figure out what I want to do with it. I realize that as the (potential, God-willing) middle child, Baby #2 won’t have the nursery I picture in my head. We feel really strongly about not uprooting Charlie out of her room at this time, so it is what it is. We aren’t going to paint the room, but we’ll come up with some cute things to make it hers. We are toying with the idea of investing in a nice, upholstered rocker for the living room as well. Plenty of time right??

Tonight we are meeting Vann’s boss and her husband for dinner at Frontera Grill. If any of you watched “Top Chef Masters” on Bravo, you know that Frontera’s head chef, Rick Bayless, won the whole shebang this week. All the more reason to be geeked about going to this amazing restaurant for the first time. Then, first thing in the morning, Vann will drive to meet his parents in Louisville, Kentucky (the halfway point) to pick up the girlie. Please pray for the safety of all involved on the roads.

My hope is that as this pregnancy progresses, I am able to keep in mind the shear amazement of God’s blessings. No matter what, God has this baby (and Charlie, for that matter) in the palm of His hands. Psalms 139: 5-6 says, “You hem me in–behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.”

He hems us in. I’ve never noticed that before. Here’s what Wikipedia says about hemming: “To hem a piece of cloth a garment worker folds up a cut edge, folds it up again, and then sews it down. The process of hemming thus completely encloses the cut edge in cloth, so that it cannot ravel.” That’s pretty great, right?? Oh, to be protected from unraveling. What a gift that is.