Psalms 3:5-6 says, “I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.”

Man. Isn’t that truth just amazing?

I haven’t been blogging because I just haven’t had much to give. Between caring for two small children, attempting to keep a somewhat organized home, and battling through my own personal demons, I might be at my lowest point in a very long time.

God has been very, very good to me. I am eternally blessed by so many amazing friends and family members. I have a loving husband who really, really tries to make me happy and who provides for our family. I’m cared for and supported.

Sometimes though, in life, it doesn’t matter how many times someone tells you “this too shall pass” or “it will get better, i promise!”…you just have to breathe it in, don’t you? You just have to let those dark thoughts come and sit with them so that you are at your most vulnerable and can rise again.

Here’s what most people won’t tell you about parenting: Sometimes, it really, really sucks. There. I said it. You die to yourself when you have kids, just like you die to yourself at the foot of the Cross. It is messy. It is exhausting. It is draining.

But as those “tens of thousands” draw up to defeat me each and every day, I will continue to lay my sin at Christ’s feet. My sin of anxiety, my sin of distrust, my sin of selfishness. And He will sustain me.