I read an article once that a high percentage of women would give up a couple years of their LIVES to have the perfect body.  Well, I didn’t take that poll but you know, I get it.  My journey with negative self-talk in regards to my body started a long time ago, and when I look back at the things I complained about when I was teeny…it makes me want to slap the old me.  Used to be, being a size 2 was the pinnacle.  I would sit in casting agency waiting rooms and inwardly freak out as model after model would filter in.  I’m sure you’ve heard this story before: my patented mantra was “I am a child of God, I am a child of God” – it was the only thing that kept me sane in that world of beautiful women.  Now, mind you, I smoked a lot of cigarettes at the time.  And I didn’t eat much.  Once when I auditioned for a “movie” (I use that term loosely only because I’m not really sure how much “production value” there was), the director told me I didn’t get the part because I needed to lose a little bit of my “roundness”.  Just wanted to let that feel good moment sink in.  See???  How can you not have a pseudo eating disorder with that kind of encouragement everyday???!!! Vann would say that back then I was never happy with my body.  Which pretty much means that my sweet hubby has had to listen to me bitch about yo-yo dieting and portion control for 6 YEARS.  Sorry, honey. Here’s what I don’t like hearing: “But think about what your body DID????  YOU GAVE LIFE TO SOMEONE!!!!”  Yes, I love my girls, but I don’t love the body they left behind.  Sound selfish??  Well.  There it is.  Let me just put out there what we are ALL thinking: after you have babies your body is just never going to be the same.  I don’t care if you’re Heidi Klum – the VAST majority of mamas in the world have to work their asses off to even attempt to fit back into those pre-prego jeans. Which brings me to yet another lifestyle change for this girl.  I’ve been working out since last fall.  I’ve done boot camps, started walking outside again with the girls, anything and everything to help jumpstart this process back to the old me.  When I didn’t reach my goal by my birthday in March, I turned it up a notch.  I discovered Turbofire.  I’ve been taking Turbokick classes and spin (and doing TF dvd’s at home) for over 6 weeks now.  4-5 days, sometimes 6, a week. Never in my life have I ever done this much bleeping cardio.  And I step on the scale at a friend’s house (because I don’t own one) and wait for it…I’ve GAINED weight.  Errr.  What??  Not a ton, but a little, enough to worry me and enough to scare me off of alcohol (because even if it’s a Skinnygirl margarita, it defeats the purpose if you have them every night of the week) and my nightly S’more.  I just don’t get it!!  I’m not sure if I’ve been over-compensating for the huge amount of exercise I’ve been doing by buying a little more ice cream, or indulging in another glass of wine…thinking that if I’m burning 600 calories in class I can surely have the freedom to eat what I want.  Sigh.  So would I give up a year of my life to not have to work so hard??  To have a lean surfer’s body like my girl Cam??: Possibly.  Most likely.  But, if it matters, I have learned how to throw a mean punch.