When it rains, it pours – doesn’t it?  I hesitate to complain about my life because I know there are families out there who are dealing with SO much more than we are…but as this is our life, our story, I know it is just as valid.  The foundation repair man did not deliver good news.  As he very carefully slid the clipboard across the table, I steeled myself for the worst case scenario.  As it turns out, I guess it COULD be worse, although only slightly: the front of our house has sunk and it is going to cost us a small fortune to fix it.  24 concrete piers installed under our home.  Apparently they jack it up just like a car with a flat tire.   The good news, the silver lining, if there is one, is that the repair comes with a lifetime transferrable warranty, which means that we never have to worry about it again – and neither do the future owners of our home.  I guess you could say that it increases the value of our home, as we’ve learned this type of issue is extremely common in North Texas.  Super fun!!  Ironically, after I saw the number I felt this peace come over me – at least we know now, and it has to be fixed.  No getting around this one.  And I thought, well God, how’re we gonna pay for this??  The logical thing to do is pray.  Pray for a solution, pray for a money tree, pray for a do-able part time job for me to help things along…the emotional thing that I want to do is cry.  And yet, as I’ve been maneuvering through this issue of our finances and tithing, I do feel in my bones that the Lord will provide.  I think I get it now. To add insult to injury, I got sick pretty much right after our Chicago trip and was laid up in bed the days the girls were in school.  As soon as I started feeling better, both girls got sick and Charlie especially has been battling a high fever and viral yuckiness.  Which doesn’t make the strain on our marriage easier.  In my mind, Vann gets to be out in the world, yes, slaying dragons and all that – but is still able to avoid cleaning the vomit off the loveseat and keeping the little germ-fests from breathing on each other. And at some point, I think I’ve probably given up: let them watch entirely too much TV, given them entirely too many treats for no reason except to keep them quiet, sent them upstairs to play while I crawl into bed and put my earphones in, zoning out to Pinterest and my marathon of “Friday Night Lights”. I’m surprised they aren’t fixing themselves dinner at this point, too.  So this morning, when I finally sat down to do my church bible study (we are working through “Stuck” by Jennie Allen), mad that I had to miss it on Tuesday – my heart wasn’t feeling like getting un-stuck.  Sometimes it just feels better to stay put, you know?  More comfortable, less risky.  There is one section that asks you to jot down the “areas [you] feel successful” in your life and the “areas [you] are insecure” about.  Here’s what I wrote: areas I am insecure housekeeper homemaker writer wife mother friend Guess what the other column said?  areas I feel successful [blank] yes, it’s blank.  It’s because I’m feeling pretty mediocre about all of my ‘”jobs”.  Not feeling like I’m succeeding at anything right now.  Wishing I could be more for my family but a lot of times struggling to get even one thing accomplished.  And yet, there is grace: Philippians 2:12-13 says, “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” See, God doesn’t ask me to be perfect – quite the opposite, He is with me through my failures and discouragement.  He knows my heart and my desire to provide a loving home for my family.  He knows I experience a daily struggle about giving my career up to be a mom.  He knows I rarely clean my bathrooms and have a stack of junk mail and paperwork on my desk at all times.  He knows I am weak in the world and that buying things makes me feel better.  He knows I am guilty of letting the TV be the babysitter, more times than I’d like to admit.  He knows that I deeply long for a calling in my life to touch people’s hearts through my own insecurities and hope that translates into a viable career someday.  He knows that I am often jealous of other writer’s blogs that I admire, that I wish I could be so pulled together and articulate with words.  That I wish I had 5000 followers and could write a book that people all over the country would buy and love.  He knows that I want to experience all the goodness He has for me, that the secret might just be coming to Him with my “stuck” places and laying them out, trembling, for the world to see. So, here’s to getting “unstuck”, to baring those things we aren’t proud of, to sharing our hearts in all their mediocre glory. Where are you “stuck” today?