ALERT: If you are a man, I would recommend you skip this posting, unless you particularly enjoy hearing about the joys of breastfeeding…

So yesterday morning, Ms. Alisha, Ms. Liz, Ms. Megan and I got up very early to hit the infamous St. Alphonsus “Garage Sale” consignment sale for baby and kids stuff. This is our third year, and we always make an event out of it. I picked Alisha up at 6:30 and after a stop at Dunkin’ Donuts we got to the church to be the first few in line (yay!)…the past two years I have scored some great deals, one of which was a full-on parka and snow bib (barely used) for $5. Not sure what I would be looking for this time (considering we are pretty maxed out on clothes for the moment…NOT saying forever!) I figured my strategy should be to walk the wall of toys and gear first, before the place got swarmed.

Here’s the crazy thing: the first thing that caught my eye was a Medela Advanced Breast Pump, barely used, still in the box. The tape was still on the bag’s zipper. I admit, I stood there for awhile, trying to determine if this was a wise purchase…but then I saw the price tag and knew it didn’t matter, this thing was coming home with me.

$5. $5 for a $300 retail value model. I couldn’t believe it!

Here’s the backstory: I had a terrible time breastfeeding with Charlie. So much so, that I gave up after a week or so. No one in my family had bf’d, and at the time I only had a couple friends who had or were, and aside from one class, I didn’t really prepare or learn much about it. I guess I thought it would be much easier than it was. I had a lot of pain and Charlie wasn’t latching and I didn’t want to spend the money on an at-home lactation consultant visit if we weren’t sure it was going to “take”. I did buy a pump, and maybe used it 3 or 4 times. My experience was so bad that I was miserable and crying all the time. After much deliberating, we decided I would be a better mom if I just allowed myself to let it go and move on to formula. Which is what we did.

Now, let me just say that I hear all the time that bf’d babies NEVER get sick or have ear infections…this drives me nuts because Charlie has never had an ear infection and has only been “sick” one time since she was born. She is a happy, healthy child and no worse for the wear because she was formula-fed. It was the best decision for us at the time.

I am not going to sit here and say that “breast isn’t best” because obviously the facts are there to support that it IS…HOWEVER, what I don’t like is how bullied women are when they choose not to bf or have struggles with it. It is not easy for everyone and sometimes isn’t the best for you and your baby.

All of this to say, this is one of those things in my life that I want to say I accomplished. I want to experience that “sweet spot” of nursing, the part where you get past the issues and the pain and get to have that intimacy with your baby. For THIS reason, I am giving it another go…and I am resolved and determined to make it work this time. I have been doing some research, and will be going to a refresher class next weekend. I’ve also ordered some books (reco’s from friends) and will have a stockpile of products to combat some of the issues I might experience.

I am hoping and praying for no pain. I know that this isn’t a given, and for every bad story you hear there are just as many good stories. I guess I bring this up on the blog to ask you all to bathe this is prayer and ask God for the support and care I will need to get through the (potentially) difficult first few weeks. Friends say that somewhere around week 3 things get so much easier. I have no expectation for the length of time I will nurse, I just want to experience it as it’s meant to be.

So, I guess I did kind of take it as a sign that I found a breast pump for $5 yesterday. I did ditch the tubing and bottles (Prentice will provide me with those) and all I have to do is give the pump a good cleaning and it should be good to go. It is totally safe to use!!

I told Vann that a friend of mine had one big piece of advice for me: when I come home from the hospital, I am to rest and feed the baby. That’s it. Let my spouse and help (in this case my Mom, who’s coming for 2 weeks after the birth of the baby) take care of Charlie and her needs and I just need to settle into some comfy pj’s and nurse, nurse, nurse. I do admit that the idea of shouldering feedings on my own is harrowing, but I know they will both be there to change diapers and put her back to sleep when I’m done feeding her. It will hopefully be a well-oiled machine around here by Christmas.

Dear friends, I would appreciate all the encouragement and prayers you can send my way!! God is good and I know He will be there in the thick of it…