I\u2019ve been thinking a lot over the past month what I wanted to write about our sweet Vivie Clare\u2019s entrance into the world.\u00a0 The truth is, never has a birth been more planned and gone more on schedule.\u00a0 Aside from gestational diabetes for the third time (which I managed with diet and a lot of complaining), we literally pulled up into the circle drive of the hospital we were to deliver at, got out, checked in at 10 am, were prepped and ready by noon, and had the baby by 12:33 sharp. I was nervous this time, though \u2013 which I don\u2019t remember being the case when the other two were born.\u00a0 It\u2019s no secret my husband is not a fan of needles, so we called in a close friend to sit with me during the prep process \u2013 I needed someone to take my mind off all of the unknowns.\u00a0 Thank you, Casey, for not being squeamish and for being more than ok with all those TMI moments that truly make you friends for life.\u00a0 As I write this my hubby is off work this week playing Mr. Mom.\u00a0 And can I say, I could get used to this??\u00a0 After having lunch with the girls this morning at Charlie\u2019s school, he came home and swooped up the baby and Ella and is now taking the new Joovy for a spin.\u00a0 After a long night with a restless newborn and feeling a bit like a milk cow this morning, it\u2019s so precious to have even an hour of silence and solitude \u2013 not having to be anything for anyone but myself.<\/p>\n
So what have I learned in the last month?\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned that caring for a newborn is serious business.\u00a0 Yes, I know, I\u2019ve done this twice before, but it was almost 4 years ago and it is kind of amazing that we forget all of the unpleasantness of those early sleepless nights.\u00a0 And I have \u2013 forgotten a lot.\u00a0 How to swaddle, how to care for my c-section incision, how to take it easy and recover\u2026 I think the hardest part of all of this is giving myself grace and letting myself heal.\u00a0 I\u2019m so ready to be back up and running.\u00a0 I\u2019m so ready to get the rest of this baby weight off so I can wear my skinny jeans again.\u00a0 I\u2019m so ready to not have to pack my wound with gauze and not feel like I\u2019m tied to my recliner nursing 24-7.\u00a0 I say all of this, with the full knowledge and appreciation that Miss Vivian Clare is a really good baby.\u00a0 We had our first bout with some epic spit-up last night, but she generally only cries when she\u2019s hungry, needs to be changed, or needs to burp.\u00a0 I\u2019m loving all the little newborn noises, squeaks and toots.\u00a0 And how can you be mad at a baby that just wants to nuzzle into your neck and fall asleep? People told me that three kids is no joke, they were right.\u00a0 I can see down the road to the future of our family and I\u2019m so excited at the thought of three little girlies running through our house, giggling and calling out each other\u2019s names.\u00a0 The future looks bright, no doubt \u2013 but man, it is hard right now.<\/p>\n
When my Mom was here for the first three weeks after V was born we had a handle on the dishes and the laundry.\u00a0 She runs a tight ship and I give her huge props.\u00a0 Now that she\u2019s gone, those things have taken a bit of a backseat.\u00a0 I feel the need to apologize to those friends who stop by to see her \u2013 \u201cexcuse the mess\u201d I say \u2013 knowing full well it doesn\u2019t matter to them, nor should it matter to us.\u00a0 These first few months are really about surviving \u2013 did you know that I haven\u2019t slept in my bed since I\u2019ve been home from the hospital?\u00a0 I started sleeping upright in the recliner in our bedroom because of my incision and now it just seems normal to stay there, knowing every 3 hours I\u2019m ending up there anyway.\u00a0 Nursing is going great \u2013 better than the first two times and it looks like we\u2019re in it for the long haul \u2013 that is, if we can make it to that magical 6-8 week time period where everyone tells me it \u201cgets SO much better!\u201d. And I filled my prescription for my anti-depressant meds \u2013 so far so good on the baby blues but I do feel like there have been moments where I see that \u201cdark night of the soul\u201d at 3 am and it seems as though it won\u2019t ever get any better.\u00a0 I know this is a lie, as I\u2019ve lived it before \u2013 but nevertheless, my medication is at the ready for the time I feel it\u2019s necessary. My friend Casey shared some truth with me after a particularly restless night \u2013<\/p>\n