{"id":11,"date":"2013-07-09T19:34:00","date_gmt":"2013-07-09T19:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/2013\/07\/trouble-been-doggin-my-sou\/"},"modified":"2018-04-24T18:34:07","modified_gmt":"2018-04-24T18:34:07","slug":"trouble-been-doggin-my-sou","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/2013\/07\/trouble-been-doggin-my-sou\/","title":{"rendered":"Trouble been doggin\u2019 my soul\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

I really didn\u2019t think I\u2019d do much blogging this summer \u2013 but something has been on my heart these past few weeks especially and after I read this post<\/a> by my favorite blogger Glennon Melton this morning \u2013 I just had to sit down and put the pen to paper, so to speak. The way she writes about her struggles with depression and anxiety \u2013 oh my goodness it\u2019s as if she was here in my kitchen and I was telling her about this summer and how I am just not doing well at ALL.\u00a0 Looking back on these last 35 years I think it\u2019s pretty safe to say depression has been a friend of mine.\u00a0 I waded through it in my early 20\u2019s and after a pretty scary bout with suicidal thoughts got on meds for a time and found it really helped.\u00a0 Years later, I had PPD after Ella was born and I really don\u2019t know how I could have come back otherwise.\u00a0 The meds and a combination of lots of vitamin D, pounding the pavement with the double stroller and my mom\u2019s group at church \u2013 well as a dear friend told me at the time, \u201cfor such a time as this\u201d \u2013 I unashamedly stayed on those meds and only weaned off them this past January when I found out I was pregnant with baby #3.<\/p>\n

I am a sensitive soul on a normal day, but this summer has been a real beating on my self-esteem and self-awareness.\u00a0 I can\u2019t seem to think straight \u2013 and as Glennon says in her post \u2013 \u201cslogging through Jell-O\u201d is EXACTLY the way it feels on a bad day. Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 the bad days aren\u2019t EVERYday \u2013 but they are quite often.\u00a0 And no matter how much I pray, or talk through it with God, or my precious, patient husband \u2013 I have come to realize that I am just a much better mother, friend, daughter, sister \u2013 on my medication than off.\u00a0 And that\u2019s just the truth.\u00a0 On the bad days, I feel like I can\u2019t seem to discern what\u2019s real and what\u2019s not.\u00a0 Obsessing over what people think or don\u2019t think has become a real problem for me.\u00a0 Add pregnancy hormones and triple digit temps and y\u2019all \u2013 I am just a freakin\u2019 mess over here.\u00a0 I HATE feeling out of control.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t me.\u00a0 I consider myself to be a pretty blessed and lucky gal, with a great family and a husband who provides a wonderful home and life for me and our (soon-to-be) 3 girls.\u00a0 I believe in a great big HUGE God who created me and loves me and doesn\u2019t make mistakes.\u00a0 Fearfully and Wonderfully made.\u00a0 I recognize that this is a lot to take in for some people.\u00a0 For me, it\u2019s about being brave and sharing the deepest parts of my heart.\u00a0 Life is just too short, am I right? So I\u2019m doing the best I can, as I suspect we ALL are.\u00a0 Some of us just need a little extra help.\u00a0 And that, my friends, is totally and completely ok.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I really didn\u2019t think I\u2019d do much blogging this summer \u2013 but something has been on my heart these past few weeks especially and after I read this post by my favorite blogger Glennon Melton this morning \u2013 I just had to sit down and put the pen to paper, so to speak. The way […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4232,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11\/revisions\/4232"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}