{"id":91,"date":"2011-06-08T04:21:00","date_gmt":"2011-06-08T04:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/2011\/06\/stretch-marks\/"},"modified":"2018-04-21T17:22:25","modified_gmt":"2018-04-21T17:22:25","slug":"stretch-marks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/2011\/06\/stretch-marks\/","title":{"rendered":"Stretch Marks."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So, this morning Charlie and I were doing our usual dance:&#160;   I tell her to go potty (she can do it BY HERSELF now, you know &#8211; she likes to remind me).  I watch her streak naked through the living room as she chases the cat.  I tell her with a slightly raised voice to go potty so we can leave.  She picks up tampons and offers them to invisible friends as \u201cSmarties\u201d, to which I tell her no, no, those aren\u2019t edible.  I yell at her to go to the potty or I\u2019m leaving without her.&#160;   She tells me she loves the color pink and goes.&#160; But not without telling me where the tee-tee is coming from.&#160; Beautiful.  Anyhoo \u2013 this morning I was getting dressed as we were doing our dance and she walks right up to me, points at my stomach and says,  \u201cMommy??&#160; Why you have these??&#160; Did you get old like Mimi??\u201d  Silence.&#160; Crickets.&#160;   \u201cUm\u201d, I reply, \u201cNo, no, honey.&#160; These are what Mommies sometimes get after they have a baby in their tummies.\u201d  \u201cOh.\u201d&#160; She pauses.&#160; \u201cI want to be <a href=\"http:\/\/www.pingu.net\/us\/intro.html?origref=http:\/\/www.google.com\/search?q=pingu&amp;rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;oe=UTF-8&amp;sourceid=ie7&amp;rlz=1I7ADFA_en\">Pingu<\/a> for Halloween!!\u201d  So naturally this is how I dealt with the feel-good comment of the day:  <a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lh5.ggpht.com\/-BP0oZwzStaQ\/Te74thlcAEI\/AAAAAAAAF3I\/DqXNGJhyEuE\/s1600-h\/IMG00152%25255B3%25255D.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px\" title=\"IMG00152\" border=\"0\" alt=\"IMG00152\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lh5.ggpht.com\/-iT7obsePksY\/Te74uRmlGuI\/AAAAAAAAF3M\/Wc4aTc0ehko\/IMG00152_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?resize=628%2C472\" width=\"628\" height=\"472\" \/><\/a>  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, this morning Charlie and I were doing our usual dance:&#160; I tell her to go potty (she can do it BY HERSELF now, you know &#8211; she likes to remind me). I watch her streak naked through the living room as she chases the cat. I tell her with a slightly raised voice to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1233,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/almostjuliet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/IMG00152_thumb255B1255D.jpg?fit=644%2C484&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1232,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions\/1232"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1233"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=91"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=91"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almostjuliet.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}