Someone very dear to me shared some personal struggles with me yesterday. A mom of two little ones, she told me that the fighting between her kids has reached such a peak that she’s been breaking out in hives. The kiddos are at an age where it’s probably time to let them sort things out on their own…but the stress of hearing it has just about sent her over the edge. She also admitted and owned her selfishness and told me that even after all these years she still “wants to do what she wants to do” and sometimes wishes she could put herself first.
Here’s what I love about her confession: She was real and vulnerable, and it made me feel like I’m not alone in my daily thoughts and feelings about being a mom.
I’m not going to lie and say I’ve enjoyed parenting without Vann. Like I’ve said before, my parents have been wonderful: my mom has been breaking her back helping me care for the girls and my dad has become my housing guru…but I’ve about reached the end of my rope. I’ve caught myself screaming at Charlie quite a bit lately. My fuse is very short. And as I’m trying to organize and filter through all of the many facets of home-buying and starting over in a new city, I am starting to feel like I’m alone in the wilderness.
Life is messy. Please don’t tell me that you have it all together and never, ever feel this way. I won’t believe you.
P.S. We close on our house July 9th. In just over a week we will be signing on the dotted line!
Mander….you are not alone!!!!! I have felt and feel like you. It has been so much that I have learned to do maintenance around the house. When I had little folks in the house; we did things together. If I was carrying an item(even if I could do it by myself) we carried it together. Needless to say, sometimes it would have been easier alone. But this way made life a little easier. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK….
The fussing between children. If it came to fighting: it was hard but "NO TOUCHING". You vocalize (face to face) with no hand on. If it got to bad, they had to sit across the room from each other; sometimes this was quiter with vocalizing. Nothing worked the same each time. I had to repair a roll-top desk and JJ helped repair a recliner chair…no one would talk about it. But you learn to read them (a little) as they get older, if you are lucky. 🙂