I’m gonna say something that might be tad controversial.

My daughter, Ella? Yeah, you know, the really cute one with the Cindy Lou who do?

I don’t like her very much.

There, I said it. Am I a terrible mom for admitting the way I really feel about my darling baby?

Today was a snow day. Texans don’t know how to deal with ice and snow and when a big storm comes through it pretty much debilitates us all. I think I can say this (after 10 years of living in the frozen tundra, I’ve earned it), thank the LORD Vann was home today because not being able to get out of the house with these kids just about drove me over the edge.

Knowing that I’m just days away from dropping my darling child off with her grandmother isn’t helping my patience (kind of like when you put in your notice at a job and have to work two more weeks??)…in fact, with the weather we may be heading to Mimi’s house a day or two early. We’ve got a lot going on next week, so I’m shipping her off.

Here’s the thing: she whines. All. day. long. I know she appears to be an angel, but I swear to you, she’s a little rascal who is hell-bent on world destruction.

No. I’m just kidding. It’s partly the age. The year between 1 and 2 is so freakin’ tough. Unless you are blessed with an “angel baby” (and we aren’t friends anymore if you are/were) you KNOW what I’m talking about. What is it? “Little people with BIG emotions”. We are trying to teach her some sign language, but I’m not sure she’s really into that. Vann thinks maybe she’s just our more “sensitive” child. Which means we may have to “handle” her differently. Guess who THAT sounds like?? I’ll give you a clue: she’s blonde and is addicted to Lululemon hoodies, Louis Vuitton handbags, and US Weekly.

On a more serious note…the lack of sunlight today had a palpable affect on my spirit. I felt…sad. Like, what if we are in this stage for a long time? Because right now, it is incredibly exhausting giving and giving and giving and getting so little (a smile, for instance) in return. I have dear friends who have shouldered so much worse in regards to their kids. But to us, this is big! And sometimes seems, insurmountable.

But, I take heart – God must have known what we needed because Mimi is just a short drive away.

And, just to clarify – just because you don’t like someone, it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. I would throw myself in front of a bus to protect her (and her sister, for that matter) – I just wish she’d chill out and give me a BREAK, for goodness sakes.