You know that show “SuperNanny”?? Yeah, well, I’m feeling like the bedraggled beaten down Mom who needs a major intervention. We’ve been having a behavioral “issue” with Charlie recently. Closer to 4 now than 3, she’s really been testing her boundaries. Lately she minds less when we are at other people’s houses. She has started “shushing” me (I know, I know) and has really discovered her sassy side (although not in a good way).
Now, having been a sassy little girl myself, I am somewhat empathetic…of my MOM and all the crap she had to deal with.
And apparently I’m somewhat of a push-over, which actually surprises me because I am a member of the spanking club and haven’t ever thought twice about it. But when it comes to the backtalk, I am filled with anxiety. Maybe it’s because I know the day will come when she discovers I’m not cool or fun…and when she graduates from high school I will have to trust the Holy Spirit and His presence in her heart and hope we raised her right and let her go.
So yeah, I know it is a little premature to be thinking about this when she’s…ahem…3…but I sometimes like to jump to the worst case scenerio…
Really??
Uh, yeaaaaaah. Just ask Vann.
Anyway, last night she threw a fit at swim class and refused to get into the water. Today she acted out at school.
Long story short, we spent the afternoon in a discipline downward spiral. Sassy backtalk = spanking. Screaming at me in the time-out chair = time-out till she calmed down. More sassy backtalk = spanking. Screaming at me about the spanking = time-out.
When we had all finally calmed down, I realized I was still pissed. Like, really mad that she got me that fired up. And when she came over to me and hugged me and said she was sorry, I thought, “Oh. So this is when I’m supposed to forgive her.”
Parenting is just…a biz-oh sometimes. It just IS. And anyone who tells you different is LYING to you.
I love Charlie, but I do not like having to be the bad guy. It is NO FUN. And when she’s moved on and is playing in the other room like nothing happened, I’m still seething. So I guess this is where Christ shows you a little bit of yourself through your children. If I’m going to love her like Christ loves me, then I can’t keep score and I have to forgive her, even when I really don’t feel like it.
Hmph.
Use Charlie's time out as a time out for yourself. If she needs to calm down, I'm guessing you do as well! (hugs)
I was watching Supernanny yesterday and thinking how JoJo always comes and disciplines the parents, not the kids! Sorry I don't have anything to offer since I've still got one in utero except to say that you are a warrior and you can do it!!! Stay strong and keep your chin up, kiddo.
She can come chill with us sometime if she needs to 🙂 You know – since we're BF now.
Definitely take the time out so you do not spank in anger, lol!
David and I did the study "Growing Kids God's Way" last year, and it was really helpful. We are still working on things, though. One thing we learned is that there are two sides to dealing with behavior: correction and encouragement. Not only do we need to correct bad behavior, but we need to encourage good behavior, teach them what it looks like. For example, Before going to the grocery store, tell Charlie what you expect from her. Ask her to repeat it back to you by asking, "What are the rules when we go to the store?" She might respond, "No running, no touching, and I need to stay by your side." So, before your next swim class or visit to a friend' house, tell Charlie what you expect. And if she has behaved well, "followed the rules", so to speak, verbally praise her to affirm her good behavior. It'll take some work and practice. Hope that helps…