Fault Lines.

So, home ownership?  Turns out it kinda bites sometimes.  I hope I’m not alone on this one.  Most of our downstairs is tile, so it seemed reasonable to have some cracks here and there in our 10 year old home.  Not a big deal because we plan on replacing the tile and old carpet with shiny new wood floors SOMEDAY – so we just thought, why fix the cracks when we’ll jackhammer it all out eventually anyway?? Well, my Dad, being the handyman that he is, noticed some other things: slight cracks in the drywall in places, a new tile crack in the hall bath at the front of the house, a seam in one of our kitchen countertops raised ever so slightly – all of these things minor but when we followed the path it went straight through the center of our house.  It was so hot last summer, and with the limits on watering it’s possible it’s just an issue of the ground being dry – but an issue nonetheless, which we felt like we shouldn’t wait on getting evaluated.  So we did our research, and we have a guy coming out next Wednesday to take a look.  And I’m just so pissed about it.  At first I thought, “What will people think when they see we have cracks in our tile?  Will they think our house was poorly built and we don’t take care of it??”  But then after I asked around I figured out that a lot of people have dealt with foundation issues, and just as basement floodings are par for the course in Chicago, dry, shifting ground seems to be a Texas issue.  Of course, it doesn’t help that: A.  I have an overactive imagination.  I’ve had dreams that the middle of our house opens up like a fault line, yawning and groaning and swallowing up all of our furniture and worldly possessions, never to be seen again.  I know.  B.  We came back from our wonderful Chicago vacation and I got sick almost immediately.  On the plane ride back the guy seated to the right of me sneezed and I swear I felt it on my cheek.  (Sorry, I hesitated revealing that little piece of joyous news.)  Makes me think that next time I fly I should wear a hoodie up over my head.  My Mom says there’s no way I got sick that instantaneously, but you know, I’ve watched enough “Outbreak” type movies, so, yeah. Nothing like being sick and facing a potentially very expensive house issue to make you want to hide under the covers, hoping it all goes away.  I guess I’m pretty blessed that I have an even-keeled husband.  After 6 1/2 years of marriage, he’s used to talking me off the ledge…and this is no different.  I think he put his arm around me and said “It’s going to be ok” like 10 times yesterday.  Here’s the thing: as we navigate through these early years of home ownership, I know that we aren’t the first and we certainly won’t be the last.  This is just part of it.  But I really have to check myself and pray because these are the times when the devil relishes in my weakness.  He knows I’m a pretty easy target.  I’m just one fingertip’s push from the yawning, groaning abyss of worry.  So I have to work extra hard to remember who’s really in control here and just how blessed I am, even in the midst of cracked tiles and foundation evaluations.  Praying for minimal damage – under our house and in my heart.