I’m actually really amazed she stood still long enough for me to take this picture!
Yesterday was definitely a test of my patience. I loaded both girls up in the car to attend a Valentine’s Day brunch given by the mom’s ministry at our church. Childcare was provided, thank the Lord, because I really needed a break from Charlie. I love my sweet girl, and she is funny, but man…yesterday I exercised my lungs more than I thought possible.Yelling. When did I become this person? How do I find myself standing in the living room screaming at my toddler? Sometimes I feel like the only way she’ll listen to me is if I raise my voice and GET. VERY. FIRM. like THIS. She just wasn’t LISTENING yesterday and I had to tell her things two or three times. Just willfulness, plain and simple. That, coupled with Baby Ella’s bad case of gas…well, let’s just say I was a pretty frazzled mommy.So, how grateful was I to have $5 childcare for my toddler, all the coffee I could drink, great conversation, and a kind and lovely mom of school-age children to hold my baby for me after I had been pacing with her for 20 minutes of unadulterated fussiness?? Pretty grateful. What a blessing our mom’s ministry is!! I was reminded how precious these relationships are and how invaluable they are to me. I would surely go CRAZY if it weren’t for the sweet moms in my life. Amen? Amen.

This week marked Ella’s 14th week of life. I can’t believe we’ve made it this far. Yesterday, she was super alert in the morning and I thought “maybe she can stretch herself today” and she did. So much in fact that I moved her into a 4 hour schedule (4 feeds per day, 4 hours between) which typically happens somewhere around 4 months of age. She did amazing. We aren’t quite at the place where her daytime naps are “organized” (meaning she doesn’t nap the full time, the goal being 1 1/2 to 2 hours) but she stretched just fine between feeds and ultimately took in more each time.

I was a little hesitant last night as I fed her at 7 pm and put her down…but we heard no peep from her until 7 am this morning, and even then, she cooed for a bit before crying out for food. We’ll see if she repeats herself today. As her naps do become more organized, it will be important to actually “nap” her in the mornings…meaning if we are playing at someone’s house she’ll have to sleep somewhere other than her carseat. Why am I such a control freak about all this, you might ask? You have only to look at Charlie and see that at 2 1/2 years old, she’s still clocking in 3 hour naps, most of the time. When she was a baby, people would say, “oh, she’s such a good baby” or “you’re so lucky”…and Vann and I would look at each other and laugh because sleep training is HARD. It takes a lot of patience. I never thought we’d get here. No one can prepare you for the sheer exhaustion you feel when you first bring a newborn home. The idea of “sleeping through the night” is so far-reaching, you dream about it, realizing it’s only a fantasy for now. We’ve really been enjoying Charlie lately. She is increasingly more verbal and expressive and makes me laugh all the time. She loves taking bashes (baths) and still carries her kenga (penguin) wherever she goes. In the morning when we go in to get her she literally scoops up her blankets and about 5 or 6 stuffed animals and won’t leave her room without them. At night, she must have everything in its place, and needs order to fall asleep. Last night, she had a major meltdown because there was a lone sticker on her pj’s, left over from Valentine’s Day. She is exacting and precise, just like her Daddy. She loves the movie “Cars” and anything having to do with it. At night when we are saying prayers she always mentions the names of her buddies: “And Emi…and Georgia…and Oren (Lauren)…and Ya-Ya (Olivia)…and Linsey (Lindsay)…and Ook (Luke)…”And as for me…I’m doing ok. No doubt the trips to the gym have motivated me for more, and I’m getting more comfortable at the packing up/loading the car/getting both girls to the garage thing. I still feel like there are days where I am increasingly overwhelmed by the demands of keeping up with the house, cleaning, and even thinking about meals. I feel like some days it’s all I can do to just get the girls fed and bathed. But vacation is coming soon, and in about two weeks Ella and I will travel to Dallas so I can drop her off with Mimi and Poppy. Then it’s off to Arizona and I don’t think I’ll ever appreciate time away more. Charlie will go to Tennessee and the pressure will be off. Ringing in 32 (we’ll be celebrating my birthday with a massage at Bliss Spa!!) will hopefully feel like a breath of fresh air…a recharge…a “new” normal.